DE <nowhere@all.disorg> wrote:
> William Asher wrote:
>> He's not lying.
>>
>> http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060210/ap_on_go_pr_wh/cia_leak
>>
>
> What is this? Another round of "When it says Libby, Libby, LIbby on
> the label, label, label ...."?
>
I'm guessing Libby will meet an untimely end before he cuts a deal.
From the Rock Opera "George Bush: Superstar":
So long Scooter
Poor old Scooter
Well done Scooter
--
Bill "he could have ruined a whole nation" Asher
Every time I look at you I don't understand
Why people are so happy that you are our man
You'ld have managed better if you'd had a plan
Why'd you choose to start a war in the desert sand
We'ld be better off if led by dalmations
But Karl Rove plays so well with the mass communication
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
George Bush
George Bush
How many plots have you really crushed
George Bush
George Bush
How many plots have you really crushed
George Bush
Superstar
Are you as clueless as they say you are
George Bush
Superstar
Are you as clueless as they say you are
Tell me what you think about your friends at the top
Now who'd you think besides yourself's the pick of the crop
Caeser was he where it's at
He conquered the Gauls
Old King Tut he ruled Egypt
But then he got mauled
Did you mean to ignore Clark
Was that a mistake?
Did you know Mohammed Atta
Could fly that plane straight?
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Don't you get me wrong
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
Only want to know
George Bush
George Bush
How many plots have you really crushed
George Bush
George Bush
How many plots have you really crushed
George Bush
Superstar
Are you as clueless as they say you are
George Bush
Superstar
Are you as clueless as they say you are
AHA wrote:
> What ? Did he quit again ?
>
> Sorry, I don't get to read everything anymore these days.
>
> "Uni" <no.email@no.email.invalid> schreef...
>
>> :-(
>
As far as I know, Joe is just taking some time off. Uni is just trying
to provoke things because he doesn't quite get the fact that people here
kinda like Joe. So Uni thinks that by mentioning that *he* likes Joe, he
can needle us and get us to argue about something. But Uni has no sense
of history of alt.corel, which when coupled with what is likely a
somewhat limited sense of personal relationships, leaves him completely
clueless that praising Joe isn't likely to offend anyone here.
The other thing that goes completely over Uni's head is that there is
nothing really to "disrupt" here. Essentially everything posted is a
troll (leaving aside the times when people ask for help with a specific
problem or the corel users who wander by thinking this is a support
group), of one sort or another, and there isn't really a focused topic to
the group so anything is already fair game. So it's kind of like we've
inadvertently created the troll-proof usenet group, which might be
patentable. I would apply for one except I can't figure out how to make
money off the concept and there are enough lawyers here who would sue me
if I tried that it just doesn't seem worth the trouble. Besides, I am
already busy working on my life-long goal of developing the first
practical cordless electric fish for home aquarium enthusiasts who like
taking long vacations and have no friends willing to come by and feed the
fish every day (it's a bigger market than you might think (or at least
that is what I tell potential investors)). But back to my point, Uni is,
sadly, finding alt.corel a tough nut to crack because nobody seems to be
taking the bait.
But in his defense, consider the problem, how would you try to disrupt
this group if you wanted to? Even for a keen analytical mind it just
simply isn't going to happen and if you have only a marginal grasp of
your faculties to begin with, like me, you end up making weird Joe-
worship posts. Well, admittedly I don't do that and likely would try
some other tactic to disrupt the group, like trying to take over the
world by running for president, but you can see my point. If you do see
my point could you e-mail me and let me know what it was? I need to wrap
this up and can't think of a good ripping closing line.
Thanks.
--
Bill "Uni-ited we stand" Asher
See the FAQ
Eric wrote:
> tm wrote:
>
>> I have all sorts of fantastic sooper-secret software at my fingertips.
>> Just watch, i may time-travel back and respond to a post from weeks
>> ago.
>
> That's easy. What about replying to a post weeks from now.
Here, I'll do three.
"Joe, you are an idiot."
"Karl, dammit, could you please learn to quote properly?"
"So, what you're saying is it's all Israel's fault?"
1. Security. Asher has not been photographed killing birds with a
shotgun. Think America, in these dangerous times, with terrorists
stalking us, do we really want a president who is incapable of killing
birds?
2. Nova Scotia. Do we really want a president who consorts with our
enemies and supports evil, failed, socialist states?
3. Science. Asher is some sort of academic, probably has a college
degree. He posts his campaign platform in a newsgroup dedicated to not
talking about an archaic software. If elected will he support cloning
dogs into cats, Mexicans into Americans, cheddar into brie?
5. "William" Clinton, "William" Asher. Coincidence? I think not.
6. Sexual deviancy. To quote Asher, "...screwing while wearing
costumes from The Lion King, I don't see it as all that weird...",
"I... eat ...sea cucumber sperm." I had trouble even typing these
words, do we really want a president whose very comments make us rush
to the bathroom to clean our mouths with soap?
8. Social norms. Asher uses foul language and supports glue sniffing-
"Frankly, those signs looked like crap and coupled with the fear of
one of the people holding them passing out and falling over the edge".
Please, before casting your vote, consider the children.
9. Asher is anti-American. "...still all quite jazzed about the Red
Sox". Do we really want a president who does not support America's
team, the Yankees?
10. Asher wears flip flops. Jesus wore sandals.
William Asher wrote:
> The past few weeks have been busy for the Asher campaign as there were
> visits to the swing states of Nova Scotia, Vancouver B.C., and the Kansei
> District. It was also a turning point as the staff finally figured out
> that there was a difference between campaign and champagne, at which
> point staff meetings seemed to get a bit more focused but not nearly as
> much fun. To that end, we have finally come up with some neat designs
> for bumper stickers, and as soon as we find the cocktail napkin they are
> drawn on we will have some made up asap! You can bet they will make a
> huge difference in the visibility of the NASW party. We also liked the
> idea of standing on highway overpasses with big signs but felt most of
> the staff were never sober enough to do that without fear of falling into
> traffic. There was also the problem that whenever we actually lettered a
> big sign we never got the letter sizes right so that at the left hand
> edge the letters were all big and by the time they got over to the right
> they were small and mushed together with the words running vertically
> down the page. Frankly, those signs looked like crap and coupled with
> the fear of one of the people holding them passing out and falling over
> the edge (or perhaps getting pushed over by another jealous staff member
> (sad to say, some staff members chose to while away the idle time by
> making time with other staff members, which led to hard feelings and a
> round of antibiotics for more than a few)) I thought there were better
> ways to get our message out. Which leads to another problem that a lot
> of us kind of forgot what the message was around mid-March, or being
> brutally honest, whether we ever had a message to begin with, making
> getting that message out (or getting a message) just that much more
> difficult. Of course, now it is hopeless since there are the constant
> interruptions from all the pre-recorded campaign phone calls from other
> candidates running for things like congressional seats or the U.S. senate
> (Ha! What a joke. Anyone who is anyone runs for the presidency. Just
> ask Ralph Nader. But I digress.) so nobody can concentrate on coming up
> with a message (and to be honest, we are still all quite jazzed about the
> Red Sox and hope Yaz can now get a real job and stop hawking Guldin's
> mustard.
>
> So a number of you (keeping in mind that zero is also a number) have
> asked me exactly how did the campaigning go in Halifax. Well, it went as
> well as the campaigning in Tampa, but without having to stand around in
> movie theater lobbies pretending to be waiting for someone just to get a
> few minutes in an air-conditioned room ($25/night for a motel room just
> doesn't buy what it used to). The other thing that was problematic was
> that the Newfi's in Halifax were so dumb they kept saying that they
> technically were a) not that dumb because they were Nova Scotians (yeah
> right!) and b) not even U.S. citizens (like that ever stopped anyone from
> hanging a chad for someone (if you get my drift)) so could I please stop
> pestering them about voting for president in November. But I think by
> the end people were warming up to me, or maybe they were sweating from
> chasing me down the street. It was hard to tell and I was not stopping
> to find out.
>
> Campaigning in the Kansai district went much better in the sense I spent
> less time running on my record rather than running away from a wrecking.
> A lot of that could be attributed to the both the fact that Kansai was
> the last campaign stop and by that time we had the message, or lack
> thereof depending on how you looked at it, really tuned and the fact that
> oddly, most of the people in the Kansai district spoke english with such
> a thick accent it was like they weren't even speaking english at all so
> there was some doubt that I really was "getting through" to them (and, as
> an aside, their penmanship totally sucked to the point most of the signs,
> menus, and labels on the condom machines were completely illegible (e.g.,
> I bought a bunch of cherry-flavored ultra-ribbed extra-sheer whistling
> Pete's when I meant to get mint-flavored glow-in-the-darks (live and
> learn I always say (note: if you are interested in the cherry flavor
> ones, send me an e-mail of check them out on my eBay auction)))). Bottom
> line is that I think it went well in that it was the first bit of
> campaigning where the worst thing to happen to me was to have to eat a
> pastry that looked like it was filled with whipped cream but instead
> tasted like sea cucumber sperm.
>
> The bottom line is that I think we can count on the electoral votes from
> the Kansai district, Hallifax, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, New
> Brunswick, and the Orange Line to New Carrolton. Someone should see
> precisely how many that would be and whether we are getting near the
> magic number of something greater than zero.
>
> --
> Bill "A road apple on the highway to democracy" Asher
Andrew remarked, naively:
>> The astronomers I referenced described the interaction
>> quite exuberantly <g>
Bereft of social contact and devoid of life's experience as a
result of their unusual nocturnal lifestyles, astronomers are an
odd bunch of misfits. For example, it is not uncommon to find
them ogling and drooling over X-ray images of stars, thinking
them to be X-rated images of Stars. Dr. Zadornin, an astronomer
and close friend of Dr. Asher, once described a white dwarf as a
heavenly body. With so few real thrills in their lives, you can
see how they might get excited about all sorts of mundane things
such as finding a galaxy. You'd think they'd be more interested
in finding the nincompoop who lost it in the first place.
"David_G" wrote:
> Microsoft also moves in a mysterious way its wonders to perform...
Hail gladdening Light, of Bill's pure glory pour'd
Who is the Windos OS, Heavenly, Blest,
Internet Explorer, MS Office, our Lord.
On Tue, 19 Aug 2003 17:20:11 GMT, Eric deS wrote:
> This article by Jeffery Sachs, a prominent economist at Columbia
> University, published this article a week ago in the Financial Times.
> Since the FT link is for subscribers only, I looked around and the
> article reproduced here.
> http://uslaboragainstwar.org/inthenews.php?singleItemFlag=1&news_id=1592
> http://tinyurl.com/ki36
>
> I find it a bit far fetched, but I still tend to be a bit naive about
> such issues.
The truth is those four 9/11 aircraft were taken over by the Govm't radio
lockout embedded in their control systems and were guided to their
destination from the Grassy Knoll in Dallas which is just a relay station
for commands from the John Birch Society HQ in Wyoming which, as everybody
knows, is the home state of Dick Cheney, apparent puppeteer-in-chief, who
in truth is ruled by his wife, Lynn, who is secretly plotting to put
Hillary Clinton in power in the White House, who will change the definition
of marriage in the US to bring in concert with Holland, Belgium and Canada,
then marry Lynn - and Lynn will then become First Lady, something which she
could do no other way.
You are the first to know.
Peter wrote:
> CL wrote:
>
>> Bruce wrote:
>>
>>> Can someone tell me just how Roosevelt and Churchill and Stalin
>>> publicly reacted to the news of Hitler's death?
>>
>> Didn't Roosevelt die the month before Berlin fell? Kinda' puts a
>> crimp in the ability to get a statement.
>
> Shhh! See my response to babbling brucie.
>
What has always bothered me is that you never saw Hitler and Roosevelt in
the same room together. They "both" died within a couple of weeks of
each other. Roosevelt used a wheelchair, because of polio we were led to
believe, and wore a monacle. Hitler had that spastic arm salute thing
and a dopey mustache. Coincidence? Perhaps. But why would each man
choose to project such a bizarre outward appearance unless it was to
disguise something, a secret so dark, so twisted, that if found out, it
could have propelled the entire world into a global conflict beginning
with Poland getting trampled (again) and ending with the nuclear
destruction of not one but two Japanese cities? Seen in this light, one
has to wonder why it took so long to sink the Bismark when the U.S. SOSUS
arrays had its location pinpointed from the moment it left the dock in
Norfolk. (Leaving aside the nitpicky argument that it would be another
20 years at least before the GIUK gap would be instrumented with
hydrophones some of you will claim the Bismark actually left port from
some podunk town in Poland. But does that really make sense? Do we, the
greatest naval power the planet, maybe even the galaxy, has ever seen,
base our main naval battle groups in West Bumfuck? No. We base our
ships where there are navy bases. And where are the best naval bases in
the Atlantic? You got it baby, Norfolk Virginia, in the good old U.S. of
A. Roosevelt knew that, and if Roosevelt knew it, given the above
mentioned "coincidences," I think it is probable that Hitler knew it too.
(And I probably don't need to remind you that Roosevelt was at one point
Assistant Secretary of the Navy!)) How did the U.S. fleet of spy
satellites miss the Japanese fleet approaching Hawaii? Why did one of
the final supply planes into the besieged 6th Army at Stalingrad contain
not ammunition but 500 cases of condoms? How come you never have full
color glossy spreads of underwater photographs of the "wreck" of the Graf
Spee after it was "scuttled" off of "Montevideo" when there are numerous
similar articles in magazines such as National Geographic, Outside, and
The Annoyingly Affected Affluent Adventure Traveller of the sunken
Japanese fleet at Truk and Rabaul and Bob Ballard has made a goddamned
career out of sending some stupid robot down to other wrecks and he gets
buckets of money for this shit and can I get a dime to study something
that might actually be of use to someone no I can't but am I bitter no I
am not bitter it just makes you wonder though? Lastly, did I make up
that part about the condoms?
Clearly, these questions raise other questions, and none of them can, nor
deserve to, be answered. The sad thing is that in cases like this,
history is content to let the sleeping dogs be buried so nobody can chase
their tales. (Do I get special mention for that really alliterative
pun?) But somewhere, someday, a child will look up at the clear night
sky and say to their mother: "poop poop." At which point they will go
inside and the coverup will be begin again.
-Bill "Man am I glad nobody archives this stuff anymore" Asher
alt.corel 12-Step Program
1. We admitted we were powerless over our Corel Software--that our lives
had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a newsgroup greater than ourselves could restore
us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our free-time over to the care
of alt.corel as we understood it.
4. Make a searching and fearless social inventory of every one else but
ourselves.
5. Admitted to alt.config, to ourselves, and to about 200 other human
beings the exact nature of our inability to stay focused upon the task
at-hand.
6. Were entirely ready to have alt.corel remove all these defects of
character.
7. Never asked anyone to highlight our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons who chose to participate, and became
willing to argue with them all.
9. Made direct contradictions to such people wherever possible, except
when to do so would require an injurious amount of typing.
10. Continued to take social inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly
denied it.
11. Sought, through sleep-deprivation and USENET, to improve our
persistent contact with alt.corel as we understood it, hoping only for
more reading and a better perspective.
12. Having had a good time as the result of these steps, we tried to
carry this message to other users, and to practice these principles in
all our affairs.
EW wrote:
>> Note that Iraq is allowed to retain defensive weaponry -
>> including the radar and anti-aircraft installations that the
>> US and UK have been illegally destroying in their
>> overflight attacks.
I'm reminded of a time long ago when my friends and I tried to
break up a fight. I grabbed one fellow from the back and held him
firm. Unfortunately no one restrained the other who let loose a
barrage of cowardly blows on my charge.
Blix and Baredai are holding Sadaam, while US and UK courageously
demolish his radar and anti-aircraft installations. Bravo! It
should inspire paint gun warriors for generations to come. (Maj.
Frank Burns, Col. Klink et al come to mind.)
If there's a war, it shall go down in history as one of the most
cowardly, blatantly self-serving acts of aggression in modern
history. It is an affront to the real warriors, living (some
grace this NG) and those who died in courageous struggle.
K.N.Pepper
Dear Colleagues,
While lying in the bathtub (barred from bed for a minor
misdemeanor) I had an Archimedes moment. "You reek, you reek!" I
said to myself and proceeded to fill the tub ... ah, but I
digress.
Having co-authored "How to Wheedle a Government Grant" I cannot
explain why I never thought of this before. The standard trick,
as we explained in chapter 13, is to get one trivial grant
approved and the next one's a sure bet. Along those lines here's
a modest New Year's wish for you that has a good chance of
getting OKed by the celestial bureaucracy:
o------------------------------------------o
Here's wishing you a slightly improved New Year with a barely
perceptible, but definite upward trend in your happiness index.
o------------------------------------------o
If this works, as I'm sure it will, I'll immediately submit a
second, slightly more ambitious application with such items as
World Peace, End of Hunger, untold personal wealth, etc.
< Heh! Heh! Heh! >
Please see temporal transition diagram at:
http://corelchat.freeservers.com/images/02-03-transit.jpg
Best regards,
K.N.Pepper
University of Washingtoon
Deportment of Apple-eyed Physics
Giuseppe B wrote:
<snip>
>
> While I do agree binary is the simplest to implement, base-3 is also
> rather easy (at least for those of us who have played the piano, say
> e.g. Karl, since it's not difficult for us to flex each finger
> independently). So I don't agree that non-base-2 are not an option.
> At least for base 3, it's just better. And it's also more mystical,
> given the value of the particular figure.
>
In principle, they're all easy to implement. Base-53 is as easy to
implement in theory as base-3. Stop thinking like a mathematician. If
you try an actual test of three methods of counting, base-3 w/ finger
flex, base-2, and the old ten-finger approach flashed several times for
each decade (e.g., 672 would be six fingers, seven fingers, two fingers)
where you attempt to send random numbers across a smokey crowded bar by
flashing fingers, you'll find that a) once people figure out base-2
(provided they don't get extremely drunk before they figure it out) it is
by far the simplest, most efficient, and most accurate way to transmit
random numbers up to 1023 (above that, flashing ten fingers is best) b)
the other bar patrons will rapidly get tired of your little experiment
and terminate it with extreme prejudice. The other thing you'll find is
that chicks will not want to go home with you after you have conducted
this experiment, especially if b) occurred and some 300-lb barfly just
kicked your nuts up into your throat for being incredibly annoying.
Therefore, while you may be more informed in terms of the best way to use
your fingers to transmit useless information to people who really
couldn't care less, you will be no closer to solving the fundamental
problem that you really need to get laid. (This was a general comment,
not directed at you personally. (However, it may be true when taken
personally as well. (There is no guarantee that general comments do not,
at times, apply specifically to you.)))
-Bill "On second thought, a game of 8-ball would have been better" Asher
...For low, there was a cry from the wandering remnant of believers unto
COREL, and yea, it was like the screech of a dying hard drive. They
cried,
"Hear us, O great COREL, hear our cry that is like the screech of a dying
hard drive! Bring unto us the those great and wondrous gifts promised
unto us;
bring us UNICODE, which will let us travel the world and speak in many
tongues and bring the englightening Word of COREL (in all ways Perfect)
unto the heathen masses of the wilderness;
and bring us JAVA, for it is Embedded and it is Just In Time (and it is
not of the burned and bitter Celestial Dollars)
and bring us LINUX, which is open and loving and will save us from the
Virus and the Hacker; (but beware, for the food of LINUX is good and
nurturing, but the wine is sour and slow like the wheels in the great
land of DOJ)
and bring us XML, which will vanquish all confusion and division, and
will bring peace to all of the world's peoples and office workers, and
will let us spread the Gospel of the One True Format (which is as a
great, flowing stream);
and bring us SVG and SWF and PDF and RTF and other bountiful exports, for
until the fields and plains, the mountains and hills, the wide oceans and
deep valleys, and all of wondrous creation hears the Gospel of the One
True Format (which is as a great, flowing stream), we must bring it unto
their eyes and ears and browsers and editors in a tongue they can
interpret.
and bring us Software that Fits Perfectly, and Interfaces that are
Common; bring us Engines and Components and Filters; bring us Experts and
Coaches and an overflowing Base of Knowledge; bring us all things Quick
and Speed and Central and Perfect; bring us generous products with names
in AllCAPS; and bring us Brett (just not yet).
Bring unto us, your humble users, these great and wondrous things, so
that we may be prosperous and productive. Defend us, O COREL, from the
great evil of the beasts MSFT and ADBE, and protect us from their vile
and wretched programs.
We ask this of you, our Vendor and Developer, Savior of Content and
Business and Graphics and Publishing, now and forever and ever."
And COREL looked down upon its humble users, lost and wandering in the
wastelands of the groups of news, and took pity upon them.
And yea, COREL said unto them,
"Come, my children, and share in my bounty (for only a small fee - mail-
in rebate coupon in-box).
Come and take of my Word, in all ways Perfect; Draw close to me, and hear
my calling, for I, your Vendor and Developer, will give unto you all the
glories of Computing.
See the great nations of Dell and Hewlett-Packard, of Sony and of
Gateway, see all the world as they join me in friendship and Partnership.
For I am Creativity and and I am Digitalism, I am Home and I am Business,
I am Enterprising and I am Professional. Hearken unto me, for I am All
Thing to All People!
Take of my Free Trials and my Service Packs, and be joyful!"
And there was great rejoicing. ("Yea")
(Except among the remote communities of theDBCommunity and AltmanDotCom,
where dewlt the disciples of Paradox and Ventura, who stomped their feet
and beat their breasts with great cries of frustration, lamenting that
they were left out of the great proclamations once more, and crying,
"Why, O Great COREL, have you abandoned us again?".)
--D
Sandy wrote:
>
> CF wrote:
>
>> <sigh> I think you're right. However, my point still stands. Surely
>> nobody here is allowed to admit to having <gasp> time for a real life!!
>
> Could you elaborate on what constitutes a *real* life? I don't think I
> have one but I want to make sure.
>
Here some of the ways you can tell if you have no real life:
1. You keep solitaire running on your computer so that if someone walks
by, you can switch to it quickly and people will think you are pondering
whether to move the 8 of clubs or spades on the 9 of diamonds instead of
responding to a post on whether or not poutine is what makes Canadian's
so flatulent.
2. Because sometimes composing messages takes longer than the time-out
interval of your dial-up connection and there's no network activity
while you're typing into the editor, you find yourself searching for
random words in Google every few minutes to keep the connection so you
don't have to wait to re-dial to post your message.
3. Your chair has been feeling more comfortable lately but you can't
figure out why. When you get up you find you've crushed the
cat/poodle.
4. You put on the tea kettle to make a cup and then while waiting for
it to boil, decide to check in to see what's happening. While starting
the newsreader, solitaire, and searching in Google for the string
"poutine canuck fart", you forget about the tea kettle and the pot boils
dry, melts, and starts the kitchen on fire. (The smoke detector, whose
batteries should have been replaced about two years ago but never were
because since it stopped making that "peep ........ peep" noise you
figured it must have found a way to recharge its batteries on its own by
exploiting the vacuum energy of free space, doesn't alert you to the
fire.) The house burns up and you're overcome by the smoke. All they
find in your home office is a melted mouse and your pinkie ring, fused
together. The fire marshall theorizes that your final incomplete post
to alt.corel happened because your unconscious head slammed into the
keyboard hitting alt-s for "send." Your final post tops the list in the
"Best of Corel" website.
5. When you go to confession, you make up sins to tell the priest not
because you're embarrassed to confess the real ones, but because you've
been spending so much time online that you don't have any real ones and
you're too embarrassed to admit that.
6. You decide you can do without the ringer on your phone because
nobody calls you anymore and even if they did, they would just get a
busy signal, at least until you get that DSL line put in. You would
have gone to a cable modem, but you never seem to watch the tube anymore
so let the service expire.
7. You haven't seen a new movie or read a book in years, and are the
first person your co-workers ask when they have a question about
Outlook, Outlook Express, Agent, Free Agent, Netscape, or Mozilla.
Despite this popularity, whenever you show up at the watercooler to
discuss current events, everyone remembers they left the tea kettle on
the stove and leaves.
8. You can name at least three bugs in the latest release of Mozilla
you have personally encountered and find annoying.
9. You think "hygiene" is something you say only if you run into Mr.
Roddenberry, and he's dead.
10. You've rationalized that abstinence is a really good way to
practice safe sex and think the graphic on the alt.corel website is
pretty darned saucy,
11. Every so often, for a thrill, you like to get into an argument
about anything with Karl Rowe.
and finally, but not least,
12. You act like me.
-Bill "It takes one to know one" Asher
Didn't you know it, it was Al Gore who invented it. ! Unfortunately a great
many people have their heads in the clouds due to anti gravity (falling
upwards within an organization because of lack of knowledge) and fail to see
the gravity of it.
Wim
Giuseppe B wrote:
> Eugene wrote:
>
>> According to Ted, we already have anti-gravity technology obtained from
>> earlier UFO's, but the US Govt is hiding it from us:
>> "...if they admit we have these technologies, question number one is,
>> Gee, where did you get it. Answer: We can't tell you where we got it,
>> but we got it. But it will become obvious real quick that we didn't
>> develop this on planet Earth"
>
> Oh, why? Are we too dumb to develop it by ourselves?
For your newsgroups file:
alt.corel.support Help for those who's lives have been taken over by alt.corel
Charter:
For discussion of ways in which people are trying to deal with their
enslavement to the alt.corel newsgroup. On topic subjects include,
but are not limited to:
1. Wrist splint technology
2. The latest carpal tunnel syndrome therapies
3. How to handle people at home and work that constantly interrupt
you while you are posting/reading.
4. Dealing with eye strain
5. Ways of litigating charges of family abandonment
6. How to cope with withdrawal symptoms if you are suddenly "cut off"
7. How to deal with subversives (those who don't participate in
alt.corel), when they try to get you away from the keyboard.
8. Amphetamine research.
9. Coffee & coffee brewing technology. How to get the biggest "bang"
per sip. This would include the best sweatband materials when your
forehead starts sweating from all the caffeine.
Justification: Spend a few days in alt.corel
--
Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
- Mark Twain
<Adam mode on>
This group is inappropriately named. Clearly you intend the name to be
alt.corel.support-alt-corel. As you've written it, people wishing
support for Corel software will post to your group looking for answers
to their configuration/installation/operation problems. So naming of
the group alt.corel.support is clearly wrong and you must have the
native intellect of a tuna to even suggest this. No wait, I take that
back. Even a tuna would have figured out that even if you had named the
group more accurately (alt.corel.support-alt-corel), creating a 2nd tier
hierarchy off of alt.corel for this topic is inappropriate because your
group should really be placed in the alt.support hierarchy, possible
alt.support.usenet-junkies.alt-corel. However, since
alt.support.usenet-junkies already exists for the purpose of helping
people with massive usenet addictions, there is really no need to create
a new fourth-tier hierarchy separate alt group for alt.corel addicts.
All this tiering has to stop because we need the bandwidth for the
"meow" posts here in alt.config and as a reserve in case we want to make
alt.bad.oysters and alt.bad.shrimp. Now leave me alone because there is
a very interesting thread going on in
alt.control-freaks.anal-retentive.wordy-bastards about whether a fact
has to be true. Fascinating stuff.
Oh yeah, sweat band is two words.
<Adam mode off>
PLEASE NOTICE!!!!!
You may have noticed the increased amount
of notices for you to notice. And, we have
noticed that some of our notices have not
been noticed. This is very noticeable.
It has been noticed that the responses to
the notices have been noticeably
unnoticeable. Therefore, this notice is
to remind you to notice the notices and
to respond to the notices because we do
not want the notices to go unnoticed.
>From the Notice Committee for Noticing Notices
A lot sure has been made of top posting vs. bottom posting. What about
"sandwich" posting, in which someone replying to a post that is several
paragraphs long, responds to each individual paragraph is a descending, (and
sometimes condescending) manner?
BTW, it doesn't bother me.
Joe
(Through-posted because I've run out of clever ways to post)
Joe:
I think a lot of people here are getting a little upset by the sudden
new call for no top-posting. We have to remember we're on the real
usenet now, not some backwater Canadian swampserver where nobody cares
what we do. Some may say we have to at least make a pretense at acting
Joe727 wrote:
like we know (or care) what the cognescenti do, but as I've said in the
>
past, we need to adopt our own unique posting styles. In fact, maybe
> A lot sure has been made of top posting vs. bottom posting. What about
adopt *many* different posting styles. Have alt.corel become the
> "sandwich" posting, in which someone replying to a post that is several
Kama Sutra of posting styles. Let other groups have their flame wars
> paragraphs long, responds to each individual paragraph is a descending,
over "missionary" posting or doing it "doggy-doggy." We'll proudly
> (and sometimes condescending) manner?
plow our own furrow in the moist fertile usenet soil, adopting such
>
formats as "two minks," "falling angels," "the sparrow and the
> BTW, it doesn't bother me.
doughnut," and "Tazamanian zipper ripper." Our posts and newsgroup
>
will be impenetrable and we will have the security of posting in an
> Joe
impregnable fortress of obscurity (no puns intended), much as it was
in the good old days when we posted on the Corel servers and 50% of
the posts were works of Karl Rowe (which acted to cool things down at
c.g.c much like the whispered rumor of a herpes outbreak calms things
down at Playboy Mansion). Nobody will "get over on us" as they say in
the cop shows on tv.
-Bill "I'll need a female volunteer to demonstrate the sparrow and
doughnut method" Asher
p.s. Giuseppe can continue posting by hand until he finds a girlfriend
William Asher wrote:
> Joe727 wrote:
> I think a lot of people here are getting a little upset by the sudden
> new call for no top-posting. We have to remember we're on the real
> usenet now, not some backwater Canadian swampserver where nobody cares
> what we do. Some may say we have to at least make a pretense at acting
> like we know (or care) what the cognescenti do, but as I've said in the
> past, we need to adopt our own unique posting styles. In fact, maybe
we should simply scrap the whole argument and dance about nude in the
sunshine singing off key beatles tunes.
>> A lot sure has been made of top posting vs. bottom posting. What about
> adopt *many* different posting styles. Have alt.corel become the
pickles and mustard and mayonaisse that holds together
>> "sandwich" posting, in which someone replying to a post that is several
rancid coldcuts thick can easily assume the naked in the sunshine
> Kama Sutra of posting styles. Let other groups have their flame wars
>> paragraphs long, responds to each individual paragraph is a descending,
rarely illuminating but occasionally readable
> over "missionary" posting or doing it "doggy-doggy." We'll proudly
>> (and sometimes condescending) manner?
> plow our own furrow in the moist fertile usenet soil, adopting such
succulent terms as "pigskin" and "nubile" into thoroughly confusing
> formats as "two minks," "falling angels," "the sparrow and the
> doughnut," and "Tazamanian zipper ripper." Our posts and newsgroup
,filled as it is with kneejerk liberals and other malcontents,
> will be impenetrable and we will have the security of posting in an
>> Joe
Smith
> impregnable fortress of obscurity (no puns intended), much as it was
back in the bbs days when men were geeks and women were nonexistant,
ah, those blessed wonderful days of florecsent light, who can forget
> in the good old days when we posted on the Corel servers and 50% of
> the posts were works of Karl Rowe (which acted to cool things down at
the local sandwich empororium? Where, it is whispered, he was in
complete and utter control of condiments, including pickles and
> c.g.c much like the whispered rumor of a herpes outbreak calms things
> down at Playboy Mansion). Nobody will "get over on us" as they say in
Spain. This style of posting is more difficult than it first appears,
probably best not waste valuable time on it, after all we might miss
> the cop shows on tv.
--
To get random signatures put text files into a folder called "Random Signatures" into your Preferences folder.
"Francesca" wrote:
> William Asher wrote:
>> Joe727 wrote:
>
>> I think a lot of people here are getting a little upset by the
>> sudden new call for no top-posting. We have to remember we're on
>> the real usenet now, not some backwater Canadian swampserver where
>> nobody cares
about the price of tea in China (though some might have a passing
interest in it's chemical composition) and how it might impact the cod
stocks off newfoundland - discussions like that are completely off
topic, irrelavent, and are just not
>> what we do. Some may say we have to at least make a pretense at
>> acting like we know (or care) what the cognescenti do, but as I've
>> said in the past, we need to adopt our own unique posting styles.
>> In fact, maybe
> we should simply scrap the whole argument and dance about nude in the
> sunshine singing off key beatles tunes.
>>> A lot sure has been made of top posting vs. bottom posting. What
about the plight of the arctic chipmunk, who are slowly becoming extinct
due to overhunting and the protectionist policies of bureaucrats who
>> adopt *many* different posting styles. Have alt.corel become the
> pickles and mustard and mayonaisse that holds together
>>> "sandwich" posting, in which someone replying to a post that is
>>> several
> rancid coldcuts thick can easily assume the naked in the sunshine
>> Kama Sutra of posting styles. Let other groups have their flame
>> wars over rights of cold-weather rodents, creating documents a thousand
>>> paragraphs long, responds to each individual paragraph is a
descending,
> rarely illuminating but occasionally readable
argument
>> over "missionary" posting or doing it "doggy-doggy." We'll proudly
>>> (and sometimes condescending) manner?
>> plow our own furrow in the moist fertile usenet soil, adopting such
> succulent terms as "pigskin" and "nubile" into thoroughly confusing
>> formats as "two minks," "falling angels," "the sparrow and the
>> doughnut," and "Tazamanian zipper ripper." Our posts and newsgroup
> ,filled as it is with kneejerk liberals and other malcontents,
>> will be impenetrable and we will have the security of posting in an
>>> Joe
> Smith
>> impregnable fortress of obscurity (no puns intended), much as it was
> back in the bbs days when men were geeks and women were nonexistant,
> ah, those blessed wonderful days of florecsent light, who can forget
>> in the good old days when we posted on the Corel servers and 50% of
our time was actually devoted to work, when people made wild accusations
that the press releases were acutal, important information, but in fact
>> the posts were works of Karl Rowe (which acted to cool things down
>> at
> the local sandwich empororium? Where, it is whispered, he was in
> complete and utter control of condiments, including pickles and
>> c.g.c much like the whispered rumor of a herpes outbreak calms
>> things down at Playboy Mansion). Nobody will "get over on us" as
>> they say in
> Spain. This style of posting is more difficult than it first appears,
but is somewhat enjoyable. What I don't understand is
>> the cop shows on tv.
But then again, it's
> probably best not waste valuable time on it, after all we might miss
the actual outcome of the research into the effect of snow and
wind velocity on the temperature of the average windshield,
not to mention the tea the chipmunks drink.
That was fun. :-)
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